Are You Happy?

Dr. Albert Schweitzer, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize in 1952, said, “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” So often we look to our successes to find that feeling of happiness. Yet, to find real success, we must find happiness first.

Research published in The American Psychologist reports that happy people have certain characteristics that separate them from unhappy people. Here’s what they say:

Happy people are less self-focused, less aggressive and violent, and less susceptible to disease. “They are more loving, forgiving, trusting, decisive, creative, sociable, and helpful.” Happy people have happy emotions and that’s because they are usually more sociable and they are more apt to set optimistic goals and strive to meet them. Consequently, their attitudes create healthier immune systems.

Happy people don’t suppress good feelings when they feel them. They laugh when they are happy, and they don’t hide their success or talents to fit in with the crowd. If they receive a compliment, they take it. If they have something happy to talk about, they share it.

Happy people are usually spiritual people. Though some studies show that some forms of active spirituality can correlate with prejudice and guilt, for the most part, a belief in God—and consequently, an active spiritual life—correlates well with several mental health criteria. People who are active in their church tend to be less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, divorce, or commit suicide.

Some say that money doesn’t make you happy. Not true. There is a connection between wealth and well-being, though it is not significant. Stress from financial disorder does make people depressed. However, wealth cannot be attributed to redeeming a depressed person.

Support matters. When we have a large support system of loving friends and family, we are much more happy and healthy and less likely to die prematurely. Physical support plays a key role as well. Research shows that an overwhelming percentage of depressed people are often cured by a change of diet (which includes a decreased intake of refined sugar and elimination of caffeine, drugs, tobacco, and alcohol), an increase in regular exercise, and improved sleep habits.

We have the choice to be happy by changing behaviors that make us unhappy. If you find that your behaviors aren’t in line with happy living, and you want to be happy and successful, it’s time to look at the root cause. Typically, self-worth issues rest at the core of dysfunction, and such issues most often find their roots at home.

Happy homes and families have one important thing in common—they are kind and loving to one another! Homes in which family members are overly critical, judgmental, and have tendencies toward perfectionism will produce generations of people who tend to struggle with depression. (See, "Healing Your Family History: 5 Steps to Break Free of Destructive Patterns," by Rebecca Hintze, foreword by Stephen R. Covey, Hay House, 2006, for help overcoming family patterns of unhappiness and depression).

We can begin today to resolve the reasons why we’re not behaving like happy people. As you heal, assess your behavior and see if you’re making choices that lead you to live a happy life—one that brings success.

Ask yourself:
Am I too self-focused?
Do I have happy emotions?
Am I sociable and able to express myself well?
Do I feel comfortable being myself around others?
Am I spiritually connected and have faith in a loving God?
Do I share myself with others?
Do I have healthy physical habits?
Do I surround myself with people who love and support me?
Do I spend a tremendous amount of time judging and criticizing others, including myself?
Am I a perfectionist?
Am I charitable toward others?
What underlying issues am I suppressing that may cause me to behave in ways that prevent happiness?

Use your answers to help you identify an area where you can improve. Set a goal for the week that’s realistic—one that will help you reach your goal of living a more happy and successful life.

If your answers (and your life) feel overwhelming, remember the words of the world-famous psychologist Carl Jung. He said, “There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year’s course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” Your days in dark times serve a purpose. They provide the balance of opposition needed for growth and happiness. If you’re living in unhappy, dark times and want to be happy, just choose it. While we must past through darkness as part of our life’s experience, we don’t have to live there. Use the clues in this article to get you on track to a lighter, happier time.

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Warning: This article is for educational and entertainment purposes only! Never implement, use, or follow the contents of this article without consulting a professional.

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