Learning Persuasion

I had a student ask me recently, "Kenrick, how do you keep track of all of these persuasion strategies? Every time we have a conference call or seminar, you pull out another technique adding to the dozens and dozens of techniques we've already learned. I can't even remember to use the 'unconscious hello'."

I responded to my student by saying, 'When you learn a new language, are you fluent in a week?'

When you learn a new instrument, are you playing concerts within a week?

The subject of persuasion is just as rich as either of these examples. The difference is, once you've learned a new language, you know the language (provided you practice it). But the field fo persuasion is ever expanding with amazing breakthroughs happening all the time.

The best way I know to become a world class persuader is to master the basic principles. Mastering the basics requires you to do what people do when they're learning something new: you must practice.

'Learning' has been traditionally broken down into five different categories: imprinting, habituation, associative learning, observational learning and play.

Imprinting is associated with young animals and humans. It is a phase based learning. This is the process by which babies learn from their parents. Imprinting has no use for us in learning persuasion, obviously, except for the brain state which we can achieve by the utilization of light and sound machines. The brain state resembles very closely the learning brain state of imprinting in the very young.

Habitual learning is exemplified by a response to stimulus. If the response to stimulus is neither rewarding nor harmful then the response eventually diminishes. This learning is based on the other than conscious mind.

In persuasion the two types of learning that we most often utilize are observational learning and play. With observational learning, we observe and repeat. Observe and repeat. It's that simple. So when my student asks about the 'unconscious hello', I say, observe and repeat.

The last type of learning, play, is possibly the most enjoyable. At the end of each of my conference calls I assign home play. I love the concept of play and playfulness. It can enhance our experience not only of persuasion, but of life. Too often as we grow up and forget the benefits of play.

We're all successful in our fields. Many of us have high pressure work environments. And yet, I can't help thinking that part of what we do when we meet for our quarterly meetings is quite playful. Role playing, camaraderie, even the occasional game. Some play is unrestrained and has no outcome, but our play has a clearly defined goal, as does our work.

So for my frustrated student, I'll say, persuasion is play, persuasion is observing, persuasion is a habit, persuasion is repeating, persuasion is emulation, persuasion is commitment and persuasion is intention. Persistence. Persuasion comes in time. With conscious, intentional practice, you can learn to remember to use all of the techniques and strategies in persuasion with ease.

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