The Power Of Words - Using 3 Questions To Help Control What You Say

"I aspire to inspire before I expire." Kinky Friedman

In a town not far from me, a group of four town office employees were fired from their jobs for gossiping because they referred to the town administrator in derogatory terms and discussed a rumor that he was having an affair with another female employee. This incident served to remind me of the power of words.

Words are so much more than just a group of letters or sounds that come out of our mouths. Words, especially those filled with feeling or emotion, have energy--energy that can lift us up or cut us down. Impassioned speech can truly inspire us, while words that are used in a derogatory manner or to spread a false rumor carry negative energy to all who hear them.

To know the power of words, try to think back to your childhood and recall a time that someone said something to you that you've carried with you ever since. Was it positive or negative? I can remember being about 13 when my favorite aunt scolded me for eating too much and she used a judgmental voice to tell me I was going to get fat. (She was no slender reed herself!) For some reason this has always stayed in my memory while much more cruel things said to me by others have not - maybe because I didn't expect her criticism. These were words filled with a negative emotion which transformed into a tiny piece of pain that I've carried as a memory ever since. The words no longer hurt me, but at the same time, I won't ever forget them.

It's important for us to keep in mind the power of speech to both inspire and inflict pain. We need to be aware of the things that come out of our mouths, to think about the words before we say them. This is especially true for parents because of how impressionable the mind of a child is. But as the incident mentioned at the start of this article points out, it is important in any environment including work.

So what can you do to help monitor your speech and choose your words more carefully? One technique is before you make a comment to or about someone, ask yourself the following three questions: 1) Is this true? 2) Is this kind? and 3) Is this necessary to say?

These questions can help you analyze what you're going to say before it slips out of your mouth and hurts someone unnecessarily. Using these questions does not mean that you never say something that is unkind, untrue, or unnecessary. But it does mean that you will have thought about it first. Telling your spouse that you no longer love them may not be kind, but if it's true, it may be necessary. But gossiping to a co-worker that the boss is having an affair is probably unnecessary, unkind, and possibly untrue.

Using these questions gives us all a chance to think for just a moment before we speak. Our world is full of untrue, unkind and unnecessary words that are constantly doing damage. And if we take a moment to consider our speech, we may find it possible to change what we say to carry a more positive energy - maybe we can even inspire someone!

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