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Margaret Paul, Ph.D.'s Articles

  • How Can I Stop Feeling Jealous?
    "I know that my boyfriend loves me, but he has a lot of women friends I don't get why he has to have so many women friends
  • You're Not Meeting My Needs
    "Sandra wants to end our marriage," Ted told me in our phone session "She says that I am not meeting her needs
  • Emotional Intimacy
    Experiencing emotional intimacy with others is one of the most satisfying experiences of life Emotional intimacy, or a sense of deep connection with another person or a group of people, occurs when each person is completely open hearted and devoted to taking 100% responsibility for their own feelings and needs
  • Gratitude vs. Complaining
    "All happy people are grateful Ungrateful people cannot be happy
  • The Wanting Mind, Part 1
    "This force [that keeps us always wanting] is known in several Buddhist traditions as the Wanting Mind The Wanting Mind is always craving an experience different from the one it currently has
  • Is Your Relationship Suffering From Emotional Infidelity?
    Emotional infidelity occurs when you or your partner become emotionally connected with someone outside your relationship, either in person or on the Internet

    How dangerous to a marriage or committed relationship is emotional infidelity
  • Problems Sleeping?
    Insomnia is quite common in our society While there many different reasons for sleep problems - such as poor diet, too much sugar and refined carbohydrates, too much caffeine, or lack of exercise - I want to share two major causes and the solutions to these
  • Diffusing Anger or Feeding the Flames
    Have you ever had an argument with someone - a partner, spouse, close friend, child, parent or other relative, or a business associate - that started small and spiraled into an intense conflict Have you ever scratched your head, wondering how it got so out of control
  • Are You Enmeshed With Your Children?
    The Encarta World English Dictionary defines "enmesh" as "to entangle somebody or something in something from which it is difficult to be extricated or separated"

    Are you entangled with your children in a way that is limiting both you and your children
  • 7 Step Guide to Creating a Life of Substance Abuse
    While it is probable that no one consciously sets out to create a life of substance abuse, those who end up addicted to substances are choosing certain thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that will likely end up leading to some form of substance abuse - drugs, alcohol, nicotine, food, junk food, sugar, and/or caffeine
  • Self-Help: Healing Your Broken Heart
    Haley, 38, consulted with me because her boyfriend had just broken up with her Shocked and broken-hearted, she tearfully told me about how wonderful he was and about how she didn't know how she could survive this break up
  • 7 Step Guide To Staying Completely Stuck In Your Life
    Are you stuck in your life Do you receive some satisfaction from staying stuck and from no one being able to help you get unstuck
  • Fear Of Death
    "The modern tradition of equating death with an ensuing nothingness can be abandoned For there is no reason to believe that human death severs the quality of the oneness in the universe
  • Marriage Advice: Love And Fairness
    "Love has nothing to do with fairness Love is Love
  • Following A Child's Lead
    How long should your child breast-feed
    Should your child go to pre-school
  • Self Improvement: Leisure Time, Retirement Time
    You've worked all your life and now you are looking forward to retirement How will you spend your time
  • Why Do So Many People Lack Integrity?
    "By the right choice and true application of thought, man ascents to the Divine Perfection; by the abuse and wrong application of thought, he descents below the level of the beast Between these two extremes are all the grades of character, and man is their maker and master
  • Relationship Advice: Be Willing To Have Your Partner Be Upset With You
    As a relationships counselor, I often work with people who are unhappy in their relationship and thinking of leaving They believe that they are unhappy because of their partner, but the real reason is that they are not taking responsibility for their own feelings within the relationship
  • Love And Marriage: Do They Really Go Together?
    Do love and marriage really go together like a horse and carriage For some they do but for many they don't
  • Saving Your Marriage When You Have Children
    Research indicates that, unless there is violence in the home, children are better off being raised by an intact family Whenever clients who have children call to work with me on their marriage, I always encourage them to do all they can to save their marriage
  • 8-Step Guide To Messing Up Your Kids
    Most parents REALLY want to be good parents But since it is rare for parents to take parenting classes before becoming parents, we inadvertently do lots of things to mess up our kids
  • Marriage Help: If You Are Thinking Of Getting A Divorce, Think Again!
    Are you thinking of getting a divorce because:

    * Your spouse is physically abusive with you or with your children
    * Your spouse is an alcoholic or drug addict and has no intention of dealing with the addiction
  • 7-Step Foolproof Guide To Creating A Terrible Relationship
    No one SAYS they want a terrible relationship, yet so many people go about creating them that we need to assume they must WANT them So, here's my 7 Step foolproof guide to creating a terrible relationship
  • What Does Your Child Really Need From You?
    Most parents want to be good parents Yet parenting is one of those things that does not have hard and fast rules
  • The Incredible Power Of Intent
    Imagine two big spotlights One is pointed upward, casting light far into the air
  • Forgiveness: Acceptance And Letting Go
    Have you ever noticed the difference in people who are able to easily let go of resentment and forgive, and those who stay in anger and blame

    What I have noticed is that those who continue to stay in blame and resentment are often people who see themselves as victims of other people's choices
  • What Does It Mean To Have Integrity?
    When I was in school training to be a psychotherapist, one of my professors introduced me to a concept that I find very valuable: "bad faith"

    We are in bad faith with ourselves and others when we are out of alignment with what is true for "who we really are
  • Responsibility vs. Fault
    In my counseling practice, I often hear people saying things like:

    "It's my fault that she asked for a divorce If I hadn't worked so much, she wouldn't have left
  • When Not To Start A Relationship
    Have you recently ended a relationship or are you recently divorced Are you thinking about dating again
  • Fear Of Failure
    Failure What do you feel when you think about failure

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